Honestly, I have experienced living within feelings of resentment, anger, hurt, abandonment, and betrayal seemingly due to a myriad of external influences. Yet, I have learned/found/embraced and now share a way of another way of living that has allowed me to BE much happier.
Letting go of the negative has provided me the amazing side benefit of reconnecting with my inner gifts and healing self/others abilities I had forgotten existed.
I have seized my power to be happy, despite ANYTHING that may be going on external to me. The more I let go, the more I naturally free-fall into the life of bliss and joy I am choosing. I help others find and live from their this space too through my Perspective Reboot® energy healing and release process!
The Err of Our Ways
We fall into the role of victim; not realizing that within that space we have relinquished our power. Our identification with the story and our powerlessness within it, creates a "chicken and egg" scenerio of misery. Nothing could be further from the Truth ... I assure you that, beneath, around, or above those shitty memories is your Power, Your Divine Spark, Your Wellness, Your Joy, Your Perfection, YOU!
We are here to be creators of love and joy and can get off the pain train at any time ... well, in any conscious now moment. The key to shifting things, is to allow ourselves to explore our traumatic memories from a Higher Perspective. Here, we actually find doorways to our own resilience, power and capacity for love. The other option, of course, is to just let them go, fully! These are both aspects of teaching I offer in private session work and my on-demand healing audios.
Message from Little Kristi
It is because of my grandmother that I remained faith-filled throughout my childhood. It is because of her that I know about and love gardening and flowers. It is partially because of her entrepreneurial spirit that I had the courage to become a female entrepreneur at age 27. It is because of her love and support throughout my life that I have felt unconditionally loved and understood many times.
Despite our closeness, there was a dark cloud between us ... at least on my side of the relationship, lingering in the background for many years. I remember one visit with her in my 20s; I can imagine myself in angst, waiting for the right moment and working up “the nerve” to talk to her about what had been bothering me. I broached the subject of an incident of childhood abuse that remained a vivid memory for me to that day.
My Story of Pain
My brother and I were staying with Gramma and Grampa in their home; they were also entertaining friends of theirs, a married couple, for evening dinner and perhaps cribbage. We were helped into our pajamas and brought back downstairs to say "goodnight" to Grampa and guests.
I sat defiantly near the bottom of the stairs and refused to go back into the living room to say “good night”. I remember her sweet coaxings and my stubborn refusal. Then, something shocking happened ... my grandmother went and fetched a hairbrush and spanked my bottom in front of her guests. As you can well imagine, all received a very tear-filled "goodnight".
“Kristi Mortensen Borst!” she exclaimed. “I cannot believe that out of all of the fun and special times we have shared, you've chosen to remember that one.” I think I was expecting an apology, but none was forthcoming. I do not remember my response. I think we sat in silence for some time. I also know that at the time (and for some years to follow) it did not seem like I was CHOOSING ANYTHING! I remembered this painful childhood incident … how could I not?
My Own Perspective Reboot®
In 2010 a shift started within me ... a type of awakening or unfoldment that eventually led to my starting Healing Resonance for mind-body-spirit healing facilitation in 2013. With my newer perspective, my view of the situation expanded.
I was such a sweet and loving child with a gentle and pleasing spirit ... my smile could light up a room and I was very free with affection (still am). Yet as I viewed my little self and my own actions within “this story”, a new perspective emerged!
Remember my saying I had clung to the memory that my grandmother hurt me, she embarrassed me, and she was being unloving? As I reflected on the event, I could see that I too was in these energies. I was a creator of the negative emotions I had given her credit for, for so many years. I surely hurt her feelings, embarrassed her and was unloving. Having said this, I would never condone one of us intentionally harming another of us, particularly someone younger and under our care. Gramma should not have hit me with a hairbrush ... she probably should have hugged me.
This awareness gave me an escape route ... a way to release the emotional strong-hold this memory had. In this moment of seeing the situation, not as the victim, but as co-creator, I was able to transmute it back to love within me.
Filing That One Away
I also forgave myself, not for being a stubborn child at bedtime. I have forgiven myself for not knowing I didn't have to hold onto memories that made me sad or separated me from love. More than 50 years I held that one ... why?
This memory has been transmuted and no longer stirs my emotions in a negative way. My inner toddler self has been healed and knows she/I am safe and happy and loved … then and always! Ironically, the "bad memory" has become a positive for me.
There's Always A Higher Dimension
What if this memory has been so strong and the details so vivid, partially so that it could be one of the teaching tools in my healing and transformation practice. Had I forgotten it or buried it too deeply, I may not have had as great a lesson in conscious choosing, forgiveness, and self reflection, both for myself and to share with you!
What Are You Choosing To Re-Experience, Consciously and UNConsciously?
Love and light,
release that which no longer serves you ...
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