Generations, cultures, peoples who deny their children's needs do not create stronger adults.
This is not at all about blame. "Parenthood doesn't come with a manual" and some of those parenting guides of the 20th Century and before were not heart-based. I remember repeatedly hearing "spare the rod, spoil the child." Other "experts told new parents to let the baby cry itself to sleep.
As adults, we either continue what we have learned, or we see what didn't work for us and we change! I am grateful that some of us mothers and fathers said, "that's not how I choose to parent". I'm going to respond to my baby when she cries and when she's hungry. I'm going to be a part of my child's life and my child's childhood is going to be a treasured time. Personally, I made a point to explain why my children couldn't have a specific IT they wanted. Moreover, I'd try to give them a choice of some alternatives that I could provide.
Many people I see in my Healing Resonance llc Perspective Reboot® sessions were not treasured as children. They did not feel safe, loved, enough, etc.
As adults we can make our own choices; we can heal; we can learn new ways to BE, aiming evermore toward the freedom and love we craved as children. We can root out and re-verse these seeded patterns of dysfunction, imbalance, separation, and lack of trust.
Awareness, communication, connection, compassion, forgiveness, LOVE heals our relationship with ourSELVES and others ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍❣️💞💕
Cultivate what you want in our world, with and through these points of focus. Start by understanding what is is you want and need. Then be sure you ask for it, rather than expecting the other person to "read your mind", "know you", etc. Drop the expectation and communicate with LOVE and vulnerability. Even "baby steps" carry us forward!
Love,
Kristi Borst, PhD
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