Generations, cultures, peoples who deny their children's needs do not create stronger adults.
This is not at all about blame. "Parenthood doesn't come with a manual" and some of those parenting guides of the 20th Century and before were not heart-based. I remember repeatedly hearing "spare the rod, spoil the child." Other "experts" told new parents to let the baby cry itself to sleep.
As adults, we either continue what we have learned, or we see what didn't work for us and we change! I am grateful that some of us have said, "that's not how I choose to parent. I'm going to respond to my baby when she cries and when she's hungry. I'm going to be a loving, supportive part of my child's life. My child's childhood is going to be a treasured time of innocence."
I grew up without a voice and without choices. When I started dating my husband (I was 18) I would agonize about my dinner choice, weighing whether the shrimp entrée would taste $2 better than chicken (for example). We decided to empower our children to make choices. When we couldn't give them what they thought they wanted, we made sure that, even if they didn't agree with the initial refusal, they were given other choices and the option to suggest something else. E.g., you cannot go to school with your flip flops because they don't protect your feet, but you can wear your sneakers, dress shoes, etc.
Many people I see in my Healing Resonance llc Perspective Reboot® sessions were not treasured as children. They did not feel safe, loved, enough, seen, heard, etc. Dystopian and dictatorship households may be in our past, but many of us still hold on to the wounds and dense energy from these regimes.
