This is not to say we should focus on extremes. We as a civilization have been doing that for eons, and it hasn't created Humanity's sweet spot. When we focus on only black/white, good/bad, right/wrong, we miss the rainbow that lies at the heart of that spectrum.
I'm sharing this OTHER PERSPECTIVE of the CLOSED DOOR, with the hope that it will illuminate more possibilities FOR and WITHIN YOU. On the left, there is actually an invitation to step up and forward. Yet in some cases, particularly in our relationships, we never had nor will have the right key to be able to enter and find the peace or love we seek. Sometimes the "other person" is barring our way because our needs and wants do not align!
For me, and many of the clients who have reached out for support in the last few months, there has been what seems to be a sorting or shifting of people, formerly close or in "our circle" ... even birth-family members cutting ties. Some of these transitions have been gradual, but most have been VERY abrupt.
I am urging you to TRUST that it is time to walk away from the perpetually closed door!!!
There is a lot going on in the subtle realms of energy, dimensions, spirituality, and "reality". Find the people you vibe with ~ those who love, honor, and accept you. If there ever was a time to find your tribe OR TO STAND ALONE KNOWING THE TRIBE is forming, it is NOW!
Turn from the closed doors that have led to struggle, frustration, and heart ache.
Here is a powerful example of what can unfold when you do ...
I have a very dear friend, I shall call "Sally". Sally has been in a committed relationship for several years. Since they've been together, Sally has put her career on the back burner; so that her partner could seek HIS best opportunities, ultimately for THEM.
They have repeatedly moved away from her friends, her family. In each new location she's made friends and created a life. Yet, it's been difficult for her to find employment in her profession. Conversely, he is thriving professionally and works 60 to 80 hours a week. On the surface there has been a balance beyond the work aspect of their relationship.
We visited this-past summer as a mutual friend was getting married. She told me for them, marriage was not "off the table". Fast forward two weeks later, she called to share some "sad but exciting news". They decided it's time to dissolve their relationship. Confused, I asked "how do you go from talking about marriage to breaking up in such a short span?"
She explained that when she returned home, they had "the talk" they have had about every two years ... a reality check: what she needs and what he needs from the relationship. He is fulfilled by his work and consistently chooses his latest project over time with her. She ends up with lots of time to think about being alone in a city of people.
"There was no BIG drama in our lives, so perhaps that is what kept it under the radar. I really haven't been happy for a long time. I do not want to have this conversation again in another two years."
With marginal income, no plan, she decided to walk away. We offered her safe haven here, with the caveat that opportunities can be tourism related and seasonal. Others did the same. What unfolded or opened for Sally was amazing!
She contacted other friends; a myriad of offers came in for housing. She choose to return the city where her best friend lives. Another friend there advised that the tenant in the apartment below hers was moving to France; she also offered Sally use of her car until she was able to find/afford one. Another friend offered her a home-based job in her profession. And, yet another friend offered her a part-time job which covers her rent. Initially, the job offer came in with no benefits, but she negotiated her worth for the first time and got all her benefits added to their salary package!
As she turned away from a door that had repeatedly felt closed, she had to face her fears of "making it" on her own. That took courage, strength, faith in self, determination. And, when she took that step, what amazing opportunities appeared.
I could share many other examples of how relationships have been ending ... many without much drama, warning or fanfare. In this time to shifting and sorting, realize that closing a door can mean that many more open. WONDERFUL things can come as we let go BECAUSE WE ARE INVITING IN MORE AND BETTER!
Consider that sometimes the other has already let us go a long time ago, or was never really meeting our commitment, effort, love. Sometimes, we weren't seeing WHAT IS; we were seeing WHAT COULD BE. Truth ... when we are in relationship with another human, "what could be" in our best vision is ultimately never fully in our sole control! Sometimes we suddenly realize we never set good boundaries, and the other person doesn't want to acquiesce.
Perhaps it is YOU that is barring that door to another. Be aware and really look at where and how you stand. Imbalance cannot seek equilibrium unless there is movement in both directions.
In our wounded places, relationships that end can feel like rejection. From our Higher Selves, relationships that end create an opening, expansion, and new possibilities with other dear hearts, who are more in alignment with who we are and what we need! See the shifts and sorting as new opportunities for you. Reach out for connection with those who buoy your confidence and love you for who you are!
Sometimes we have to turn from the door that is barred on the other side. And, when we do, we find we have seemingly been taken to an entirely different experience of opportunity.
I hope you will step forward and decide to come along with me. There are no "good" or "bad" decisions here. Just follow your heart and let self-LOVE be your compass.
If this resonates, I'd love to hear your experiences, so comment 💗 You may also wish to read my prior blog "Celebrating Freedom Found in Love".
With love, Kristi
release that which no longer serves you ...
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Note that "Hogwarts' Sorting Hat" is the creation of "Harry Potter" author JK Rowling. Facing the sorting hat is one of the students' first experiences upon arriving at Hogwarts. The hat has a Knowing that allows assessment of each student (academic, spiritual, away-from-home-family needs, self-mastery, etc). In short, the sorting hat creates commUNITY with and for the students.