Generations, cultures, peoples who deny their children's needs do not create stronger adults.
This is not at all about blame. "Parenthood doesn't come with a manual" and some of those parenting guides of the 20th Century and before were not heart-based. I remember repeatedly hearing "spare the rod, spoil the child." Other "experts" told new parents to let the baby cry itself to sleep.
As adults, we either continue what we have learned, or we see what didn't work for us and we change! I am grateful that some of us have said, "that's not how I choose to parent. I'm going to respond to my baby when she cries and when she's hungry. I'm going to be a loving, supportive part of my child's life. My child's childhood is going to be a treasured time of innocence."
I grew up without a voice and without choices. When I started dating my husband (I was 18) I would agonize about my dinner choice, weighing whether the shrimp entrΓ©e would taste $2 better than chicken (for example). We decided to empower our children to make choices. When we couldn't give them what they thought they wanted, we made sure that, even if they didn't agree with the initial refusal, they were given other choices and the option to suggest something else. E.g., you cannot go to school with your flip flops because they don't protect your feet, but you can wear your sneakers, dress shoes, etc.
Many people I see in my Healing Resonance llc Perspective Reboot® sessions were not treasured as children. They did not feel safe, loved, enough, seen, heard, etc. Dystopian and dictatorship households may be in our past, but many of us still hold on to the wounds and dense energy from these regimes.
It's time to release what no longer serves ourSELVES and our Highest GOOD! As adults we can make our own choices; we can heal; we can learn new ways to BE, aiming evermore toward the freedom and love we craved as children. We can root out and re-verse these seeded patterns of dysfunction, imbalance, separation, and lack of trust. In fact, I believe this is part of our mission within our family lineage of dysfuction ... we can heal our ancestors as and through ourselves!
Awareness, communication, connection, compassion, forgiveness, LOVE heal our relationship with ourSELVES and others ❤️π§‘πππππ€❣️ππ Sometimes the best way to heal a relationship is to end it and move forward! As we close one door (especially a door to heart ache), other more supportive doors, windows, freeways open to us!
RealEYES that the more you focus on and cling to what didn't work in the past, the more you are vibing that energy within your body. That is just not healthy. You are here for a reason ... and that reason is as brilliant and yet simple as "Only YOU can vibe the light and love that ONLY YOU can share into our collective and ground into our Earth." This is how we co-create and change our world.
Understand what it is you DO want and need. Keep that as a focus and watch for patterns and decisions (conscious and unconscious) that habitually sabotage or circumvent your joy and wellness.
If your baby cries were left unanswered, you may have learned that asking for what you want or need is fruitless. That was then. Step into your power and it will enhance your relationships. Communicate. Ask for what you need and want, rather than expecting the other person to "read your mind", "know you", etc. Drop the expectation and open yourself to be vulnerable.
Even "baby steps" carry us forward! I am here for your if you'd like support until you get your footing xo
Love,
Kristi Borst, PhD
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