Taking Control of Your Life: Questioning What You THINK You Know About Yourself

[I had the opportunity to speak at several events this-past Fall. This article is an overview of that talk. It was printed in Inner Tapestry online magazine on October 27, 2015.]

 

This summer I had the pleasure of being with both of our young-adult daughters. They suggested we go see the new Pixar movie “Inside Out”. The story line is about a girl whose emotions “Joy”, “Fear”, “Anger”, “Sadness” and “Disgust” basically are running the show inside a control room inside the girl.

“Joy” is pretty much the leader until the family makes a cross-country move. There’s a power struggle of the emotions with an eventual emotional shutdown. Along the way, insights are provided into core memories, formation of values, etc. After the movie, our elder daughter shared that her friend, a young mother, felt the movie had created a way for her and her children to discuss emotions. The characters were so cute and recognizable; the children could talk about their own versions of “Joy”, “Fear”, “Anger”, “Sadness” and “Disgust”.

I really enjoyed the movie and am glad that this type of acknowledgement of the power of our emotions has been created. I’m sure many will benefit from reading beyond the amusement of the animation. The movie failed to convey that we, the human being with the emotions, don’t have to be the victim of our emotions. We have the ability to shift control up one level … from the position of the emotions controlling us to the position of us controlling our emotions. When we are able to do this, we go from being mere actors to being the playwrights, directors, set managers AND actors within, of, and through our lives. Awareness = The Power of Choice, The Power to Change.

Turning "Why Me?" into "I AM"

Life can be very difficult and we can feel so overwhelmed when we sense a lack of control over our day-to-day and long-term experiences. If you're tired of living from this perspective, I'd love to share some tips for breaking free of what may be holding you back from joy and happiness. Please trust you are here to be in joy and thrive in this life! The tricky part is that the key to our happiness lies within and yet this fact seems to be hidden from plain view by where we have been taught to keep our focus.

For me, one of the first steps in shifting from that place of "why are bad things happening to me" was taking time to recognize when good things were happening. Being conscious of and grateful for the "little things", showed me that the things that seemed so wrong were just a fraction of my experience. Why was I focusing on the negative?

You Know My Name ... Not My Story

I can remember the first time I heard our teenage daughter say "you know my name, not my story". It triggered something deep within me when a part of me heard "she has a story of pain living inside her". I then realized it was just another vogue expression of the younger set, like "whatever" or "not my monkeys, not my circus" :) Living with teenagers can be quite educational!

Yet, there is some validity in this phrase for most of us. Truly, we rarely know what others, even those we love, are carrying as their "story".

Expanding Beyond Perceived Limitations

image from besthomechefs.com

I am writing this article on Easter. Today, I saw the symbolic Easter Egg in a totally new light.

Release What You're Afraid Of ... Take Flight!

What are you afraid of? If you're like most people, your answer is most likely not "the things that go bump in the night". Without realizing it on a conscious level, many of us go for years fearing not failure, but success. We fear following our heart's pure urging and living BIG.

"What?", you may say.

Perspective Reboot® with Kristi Borst ~ Pecha Kucha

No, this isn't one of my typical articles, yet it's powerful and requires no reading :) I hope you'll take the few minutes to watch and consider this.

I was thrilled to be included in a juried Pecha Kucha (20 slides, 20 seconds each) held on 11/20/14 at the River Tree Arts in Kennebunk, Maine. Rather than talk about my Energy-in-Form artwork, my focus was on sharing the simple truths and empowerment that have helped me move to a space of more joy-filled, effortless living. Here's a video for those of you who were unable to attend.

Peace and Joy are Found Within!

Each of us is LOVE and LIGHT at our core, and this is the space in which we can find an unlimited supply of Peace and Joy. Yes, there can be karmic debts and ancestral burdens as well as traumas in this lifetime which lead us to forget that true essence. But the fact remains,

Being Happier Without The Weight of our Own Expectations

Every day that I learn something is a great day from my perspective. Do you agree? I have just recently been able to see how our own character strengths can also be our weaknesses in our relationships with others. I can almost hear you saying "what?"

Making YOUR World a Better Place

 

Our power lies not so much in our body, but in our soul/spirit. I see our physical body as a kind of space suit that is serving to adapt and host our eternal BEing for the environment of Earth. Yet from birth we are taught to focus almost exclusively on the physical body. That's changing as more and more Eastern philosophies and modalities come to the west (yoga, meditation, etc.). 
 

If people need to "see it to believe it", quantum science/physics might be just "your thing". Quantum physics has begun to explain that which has been unexplained and/or defies logic. [Quantum scientists/physicists work with minuscule particles, smaller than the electrons many of us were told as children were the smallest components of life.] The world has always worked this way ... science is just beginning to be able to formally observe and measure it.

 

Awareness (Observation) = The Power of Choice = The Power to Change

On the Wings of Angels ~ Know We are Fully Supported at All Times

Although I faced a potentially fatal fall, I find blessings in this experience! Thank you to my guardian angels and the knowing that I have more work to do ...

Rising Above the Stories of Our Yesterdays

[For some reason, during the Summer of 2017, this blog got over written with another entry. While this still holds a lot of the original content, I'm sure there are deepenings offered here over the original. It's all good!]

Honestly, I have experienced living within feelings of resentment, anger, hurt, abandonment, and betrayal seemingly due to a myriad of external influences. Yet, I have learned/found/embraced and now share a way of  another way of living that has allowed me to BE much happier.

Letting go of the negative has provided me the amazing side benefit of reconnecting with my inner gifts and healing self/others abilities I had forgotten existed.

Two Sides to Every Coin

There are two sides to every coin, but they are both equally important and they are never in competition with one another. Together they are balance and harmony. It is only our perception and reception of the coin that determines whether we prefer HEADS or TAILS. Neither is positive; neither is negative.

How often do we assume something that is happening is "good" or "bad"? It's normal, right? It's how we've been raised.

I Don't Resonate With That ...

Still life I painted as a teen ~ "You need dark areas to show light."

If you have not already done so, I'd suggest you read my earlier article on the gifts of judgment!

Recently, on a segment of Perspective Reboot^® with Kristi Borst¹, I shared my perspective that our judgment of "another" is never really about them. This understanding was integral to my owning "what others think of you is none of your business." Imagine living without the affects of others' judgment upon you!?!

With Animals' Assistance

In the last couple of years, I have realized not only our connectedness to one another as humans, but also our connectedness with ALL of life ... the animal and plant kingdoms, the Earth, the Universe, the Cosmos and beyond. When we have our "eyes" closed to the cues and messages from these Sources, we can feel like we're operating "in a vacuum". On the other hand, when we can expand our awareness and be like a child viewing life with curiosity and adventure, life becomes more fluid and we can feel much more supported.

I don't know when it happened, but at some point in the last 100 or so years of industrialization of our society, we learned to value technology over Nature. Yes, we've gained a lot in that time, but we have to realize it's been at a cost. The good news is that the support is still there, just awaiting our discovery, wonder and exploration.

This morning I was reflecting back on how animals' messages and appearances have helped awaken things on a soul level for me. The most memorable of these is my encounter with an American Bald Eagle while driving my car at 70 mph down the highway. Not wanting to hit him, I telepathically asked him to fly; he instantly began to take off toward my car. There was a moment in which the eagle was all I could see. In that instant, my life changed. It was subtle at first, but something was awakened that was waiting for this moment in space/time. The question for me now is not "was that eagle there for me?", it is "how many more subtle signs was I missing?"

You Have and Will Continue to Make A Huge, Untold Difference in this World!

Source Wikimedia Commons

Remember when we were kids and ALL the Christmas lights would go out because one bulb was blown. You (or some adult) had to go through the string until the one blown bulb could be located and replaced. Tonight I was thinking about how important each of us is and the Christmas lights "back in the day" seemed like a wonderful analogy to our interdependence.

We are each here to be the light and the essence that only we can be. We are so interconnected, and each so important to the whole. Just as the one bulb can cause the others to remain unlit, the one replacement bulb enables the others to light. Just think for a moment about the ways that you have touched others' lives, both directly and indirectly.

Is it LOVE or FEAR? What Will You See? What Will You Own?

The focus of my Perspective Reboot^® with Kristi Borst radio segment today was "You Cannot Change The World, but When You Change the Way You See The World, The World Changes." So why is it that we think we know ourselves but we really don't? How can we get to a point in our lives and realize we really don't know what we want and who we are? As some point along our paths (or perhaps at most points along our paths) we have drifted from knowing we are Divine, magnificent, unlimited and amazing to becoming stuck in a game of "today we're good"; "today we're bad."

When we realize that much of our judgment toward ourselves and toward others is based in fear, we can step back unemotionally and assess if that concern is even still valid for us. It could just be an old 8-track looping through our minds. Many times it's an "I'm not good enough" or "I don't want to stand out" track that we really need to shelf. Yet, when we can bring thoughts and fears which are no longer serving us or protecting us into our conscious minds, we have amazing opportunities for growth. It is in that moment of conscious clarity that we become Creator of past, present and future.

During the show I illustrated this point by talking about my toes. For most of my adult life, I was ashamed of my toes. In fact, despite some genetic resemblance to other family members' feet, I thought my feet were ridiculous looking. For me, it was the second toe on my right foot. Longer than the toes beside it, it made me feel freakish when I was bare-footed or in sandals. All I could see when I looked at my foot was that one toe. And, like most things that we have assessed and cataloged, I never really looked my foot with open eyes again.

Perspective Reboot® with Kristi Borst

This-past week I launched my debut segment of Perspective Reboot^® with Kristi Borst on TransformationTalkRadio.com (links to LISTEN LIVE and PLAY archive are available on the "Radio and MP3s" page of my site). The focus of that first segment was "Seeing Ourselves As More Than a Physical Body" and in discussing that, I wound my way through my own journey and what is Perspective Reboot^®?

Seeing myself as more than a body ... realizing I am an eternal Divine aspect of Source Energy having a human experience was a cornerstone in my own personal expansion. It was one of my earliest and largest steps in seeing myself beyond the roles and boundaries which had contained my life rather than allowed me to be all that I can currently express. It was critical in fact in my journey back to Self and what I share as a Divine connection which enables others to quickly release physical and emotional pain.

You'll Always Win the Race When You Avoid Spin Outs

©Jim Garrahan

Do you ever feel like your life is out of control? Everywhere you look you find drama and struggle. Life is not easy. "Why me?" you ask. Perhaps it's a question of perspective. Are you keeping your "eye on the prize"? Or are you watching what everyone else is doing? Judging? Comparing? Basically, spinning out of control and, in the process, taking yourself out of the race.

I'd like to suggest that changing your focus from the struggles to the victories will results in your being much happier. How do I know ... I've experienced it myself!

Life Is Meant to Be Savored ... YOU Are Worthy!

I recently had a birthday and my friends and family flooded my facebook page with birthday wishes. As the day progressed I literally felt as if I were in the middle of a birthday bash. I wanted to give something back ... to share the love I was feeling. I found a photo online of some beautiful cupcakes and placed this as the cover photo on my "wall". I invited everyone to take a cupcake.

It amazed me that more than one person said that they thought the cupcakes were too pretty to eat. These were not even REAL cupcakes, these were digital representations of cupcakes. I had offered them as a visual smörgåsbord, inviting my friends to, at a minimum, enjoy their colors and designs, but also thinking people might venture to explore what their taste and texture may be.

I, honestly, never expected that people would feel unworthy of this gift, because that is what I see at the core of this "that's too good for me" reaction. I see this sometimes in the intuitive healing work that I do ... an individual doesn't think they deserve to be well or happy.

That's a Wrap ...

I wish that each and every person realized the power that she/he holds within ... a power that's just waiting to be realized. Many times we are held captive not by outside forces, but by inner dialog which holds us down and keeps us small.

We truly hold the key to our own release from captivity.

Uniquely Perfect Snowflakes

Snowflakes ... I think perhaps everyone has heard that they are each uniquely perfect and individual in their expression of form. Yet each is merely frozen water. Unfortunately, when snowflakes are viewed with the "naked eye" their exquisite geometry is just a blur. When you look at snow that blankets the ground, you cannot see the beautiful intricacies of each flake nor the way the flakes are joining together. Such a shame, I am reflecting, as there is such a beautiful analogy in this example of snow.

We, too, are uniquely beautiful, multifaceted, and fascinating. Many times our human eyes cannot see the exquisite perfection in our BEingness! Yet, the blanket called "humanity" that we create together is mysteriously and intricately woven. I want to share how this dance we call "life" provides myriad opportunities to not only sparkle in our own unique brilliance, but to also influence and help others, as they influence and help us.

Happy New Year!

I am SO happy that we were able to transition from 2013 to 2014 without any major fear and/or hysteria in the group consciousness as had been true at the end of both 2011 and 2012. Nearly everyone I spoke with was actually excited about 2014 and optimistic about the year-to-come.

Personally, over the last couple of years, I have chosen to see so many wonderful signs that our world is shifting to a more enlightened, positive environment. The way 2013 passed into 2014 has been my icing on that cake. I KNOW that, not only 2014 as a whole, but each and every day there are opportunities and choices to be amazing!

The Silent Breakup

I've recently lost a friend who basically just stopped communicating with me. When I noticed a change in her attitude, I was confused and asked her straightforwardly if there was something I had done. She said "no" but I apologized anyway for the to-me unknown offense or action. The distance widened. I kept wondering what had happened.

Today I've finally achieved both mental and emotional clarity/peace on the situation.In pondering the situation yet again this morning, I had a flash of insight as I remembered my own experience/perspective of being with a dear friend and no longer feeling joy in that relationship. The parting of ways was not about her; it was about me and what I needed to do with my time, which I was increasingly learning to value. I really couldn't explain the breakup to her. There were so many layers and levels to the situation.

Letting Go Of Your Grief and Fear of Dying to Really Start LIVING

I truly believe that death is only difficult for the living. To be one with All That Is, able to be with souls you care about, regardless of whether they are on Earth or in the stratospheres ... WOW! Imagine the joy souls (people) in broken bodies must feel when they are released from those bodies. 

The soul lives on dear friends (that which has been made cannot be unmade). Yes, it sheds it's clay vessel ... the physical body; in the cycle of life, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust, that vessels returns to the Earth. This remembering of the Universal Laws of life and death has been so freeing for me.

When you no longer fear death, what is there left to fear? Yes, it's difficult to lose the physical presence of someone you love. However, when you realize and welcome that soul to be with you any time and any place, you can understand how blessed we are for the loved ones who surround us.

Reflections of Gratitude and Shining YOUR Light ..

 

I have much to be thankful for ... more than words can adequately express! Yet, 2013 has been a year of lessons about releasing any remnants of the program which had me judging myself through the eyes of others. Somewhere along the way this year I heard and truly integrated "what others think about you is truly not your business".

Soul-School ~ Planet Earth

I believe we came to this soul-school called Earth to evolve/grow and take in more light, not by avoiding, but by facing the conflict and obstacles set smack-dab our paths. The proverbial monk who sequesters himself to the top of the mountain may feel he has attained spiritual enlightenment due to the serenity and bliss that enfold his every waking moment. What has his soul learned; how has he pushed himself and grown?

I believe it is you and I who can find the deeper joys and meaning to life, true enlightenment if you will, when we respond from a place of neutrality or better yet LOVE, when confronted/challenged/tested by someone rejecting us, hurting us, pushing our buttons, etc.

Listen to that Voice Within. In Every Moment There Are Choices.

Last night as I was driving home on a back road, radio blasting, PT Cruiser top down, I glimpsed movement near the opposite side of the road, up ahead a bit. I slowed down as the figure became clearer to be an opossum. As my 3000+ pound, 80’s rock-blaring vehicle approached, he/she was not at all deterred from his/her mission to cross the road. I slowed to a complete stop within feet of the critter. This morning, I started reflecting on the incident and the message I could see from this lil’ guy.

How often do we get so focused on the “prize” or our initial goal that we lose our sense of contact with the present moment? And in that present moment, there are external clues, inner proddings, and opportunities to stop and pause and reflect on whether or not we are taking the route that’s best for us.

Step Outta the Box

Know with every part of your BEing that what you want TO BE is much closer than you may think. Release yourself from the box you have placed around yourself and/or your heart. Making it your REALITY is merely a question of BELIEVING in YOURSELF and stepping into those shoes!

"Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man; That he didn't didn't already have ..." THE TIN MAN by America

Love,
Kristi

release that which no longer serves you ...

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On Racism ~ A Child's Perspective

I was watching a video interviewing children and asking (1) their reaction to a recent Cheerios commercial featuring a bi-racial family (most thought it was cute and/or very funny) and (2) telling them that many people are upset about the commercial. All had NO IDEA why people would be upset, as they saw only the love in the commercial. When it was explained it was because the family is bi-racial, their first reaction was disbelief and then mostly sadness.

Being a Change Agent of Love in Business

Sometimes I feel like I'm walking a tight rope between two worlds. In one I am seeing the interconnectedness between, among and through us. In the other (business dealings), I'm seeing how everyone has been "groomed" to be closed off, tough, separated, unemotional. 

In my own life, the lines are blurring. As an example, I just typed an email to a long-term Ad•Mark•Com client and nearly hit "send" before realizing the "farewell" was "Love, Kristi". While that's how I FEEL, it's not acceptable; so I have to censor myself. 

In the Flow

I'm in the grocery store and I admire a candy-striped hyacinth in another shopper's cart. These flowers offer one of my favorite scents. "I'm treating myself," she says, "you should too!" "I think I will," I agree. However, when I peruse the plants there are no hyacinths ... just that lingering heavenly scent. 

We meet again at the check out. "Where's your hyacinth?" she asks. "There were none left, but that's okay," I say. In my head I am thinking I'll ask hubby to pick one up for us. When I get outside, she's waiting for me, hyacinth in hand. "Happy Easter! I want you to have this," she says. 

I protest, but then I remember how one of the best things you can give a gift-giver is the joy of having given the gift to a grateful recipient (admittedly it took me a long time to get this). "Thank you very much," I respond. "And I know that you will get exactly what you need, when you need it most." 

When Will You Be DONE?

I have been through stages in which I've had an immense, burning desire for information. I could not read enough, watch enough videos, explore others' ideas, take courses, etc. Then at some point, I said "enough". I reached that point at which I realized I had to go within and uncover the answers I sought.

When I did this, incredible things started happening.

Letting Negative Emotions Flow Through and Beyond You

Consider ... negative emotion = energy in motion (Amit A Desai). The tough part of this realization is, rather than ignore or avoid that negative emotion (which only enables it to get stuck within you), let the negative emotion be felt fully and flow through/beyond you. 

I was thinking that living in the NOW moment meant not giving power to negative emotions from the past, but belief was vanquished by "The Art of Allowing ~ Explained" (Desai) and discussions with my friends.

If the feelings surface for you in any moment, that is the time to deal with them. Feel them. Sit with them. Give them voice. Like the whinny child, they may just need to be heard fully. Ask yourself questions, to try to go deeper and deeper into the feelings.

Feel The Love That's Always There, Abundantly

In this NOW moment, I choose to feel the love of those who ARE capable of sharing it with me, rather than focusing on the lack of love I have been experiencing. 

Realizing the greatest source of love is, and always has been, there within myself ... and the only moment I should focus on is right NOW. 

And so it is!

With love,
Kristi

release that which no longer serves you ...

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Finding Your PERFECT STORM Opportunities to Grow

"Everything is beautiful in its own way!" What are you seeing as scary, insurmountable, challenging that, viewed from another perspective, may be your "perfect storm" opportunity to break free from the limitation on self YOU are ready to release?

Lovingly,
Kristi

release that which no longer serves you ...

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Blessings for You in the New Year

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand. 
~ traditional Gaelic blessing ~

Lovingly,

Kristi

release that which no longer serves you ...

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Even the Desert Will Bloom

There is so much wisdom in many of the songs from my youth:

Blessings are Amazing and Around Nearly Every Corner!

For over a year, from late 2011 until Fall 2012, I was anticipating our trip to Sedona, AZ. We had briefly driven through the red-rock town years earlier, when driving our daughters to the Grand Canyon on another vacation. This time was different ... I had a deep knowing that this trip was going to be a spiritual experience. Yet, I didn't have any notion of what that would look like.

Within our first few hours there, something amazing (life-changing in fact) DID happen ... not at a vortex, or in a crystal shop, or at a spiritual event, but in the grocery store. We were staying in a condo with a full kitchen, and after checking in, headed to the grocery store to get breakfast and lunch ingredients. 

We split up to get the few items we wanted more quickly. I found a grocery clerk and asked where to find Starbucks Frappuccino (a vacation-only treat).  I was directed to the cooler section, "it's across from the beer." I  headed that way. As I was searching, a man in some type of military fatigues literally came around the corner, staggering into the aisle. 

Inside I heard or knew "Talk to him". I abandoned my search for Frappuccinos and approached this man. I look him in the eyes. There are bruises on his face. I ask "Hi, how are you?"